Unspoken words
by LadyFromPoland
Summary: This is my first story in English. It's a conversation between Merlin and Arthur. They feel the same but they both know that they can't be together. Warning! SLASH


**It's my first fanfic in English, that I show on the Internet. Sorry for some mistakes. But I've corrected some of them.  
**

_**Unspoken Words**_

There was after midnight. Moon was shining on the dark skies. Time was passing by very slowly. Something special was in the air. Something what could change everything.

Full moon was watching whole Earth. But that night it focused only on one place. There was a lake. It wasn't big or small. It just was.

At the lake, on the cold sand, stood two stones. They were colder than the sand. That stones were big enough to sit on them.

On the one of that stones, some man was sitting. He was looking at a quiet lake, waiting. If someone didn't know him very well, then that person couldn't see that he was a bit nervous. His eyes was closed. His ears tried to hear something. But time was not charitable towards him. It wanted to teach him how to be patient. However it was not an easy lesson. But there was still harder, much harder lesson ahead him. And he had to face it.

Suddenly he heard something. He was sure that there were paces. However he didn't turn his head. He still looked at the water. He knew who was coming.

After a while everything turned obvious. Another man stood a few steps behind the first one. Newcomer looked at the person on the stone. He hesitated for a while and then he said: "Why did you ask me to come here, Sire?"

Man, who was sitting on the stone, glanced at him carefully.

"Merlin, why are you calling me _Sire_, if we are here alone?" he asked. It was not sarcasm. In prince's voice was heard a true surprise.

"Because everything is going to change very soon." The boy tried to say it firmly but sadness in his eyes told on him.

"That's true," Arthur admitted. "But it doesn't mean..."

"It means." Merlin interrupted him. He was not going to think that something was right when it actually wasn't.

"Let me finish first!" The blond haired man almost yelled.

"Of course." The other boy sighed. "I'm sorry…"

"I think... No... I'm sure you don't have to call me _Sire_. It would be so artificial after all this time."

"If you want to," Merlin said and added. "So why did you ask me to come here?"

"Because I need to talk with you before the things that's going to happen." Arthur tried to be calm but it was not easy.

"You're thinking about your wedding which is going to be tomorrow?" The dark haired man asked, even though he already knew the answer. "It means today…" Sorcerer tried to hide it but there was something sad in his voice.

"Sit here, please." Prince asked his friend, pointing at the second stone. Merlin did it without any word.

"So now I can tell you that you're right." Arthur nodded. "It's about my wedding."

"So?" Merlin asked. His heart beat very fast and he couldn't stop it.

Arthur wasn't looking at him. One more time he gazed at the lake.

"Sometimes I envy that water," he said after a moment of thinking. "It's free…"

"So do I..." Merlin admitted very slowly.

Young men looked at each other. They felt that they understood one another as they had never before.

"I hope you'll be happy with your future wife" black haired boy added finally.

"I won't be able to." That words came out of Arthur's mouth before he could stop them.

"Why?" Merlin carried on that late conversation. "She's beauty, clever and so..."

"Yes, she is." Prince nodded.

"Then why? You should be happy."

"I said it wrong. I'll be happy, in a way, but..." He hesitated. "But not as much as I wish... as I could be."

"Why won't you be absolutely happy?" Merlin asked but he wasn't sure if it was a right move. Something told him inside that there were questions that shouldn't be asked, and that was one of them.

Despite this, the young sorcerer looked at the prince. He saw as his face had changed. Merlin couldn't say what had truly changed but he was pretty sure that there was something.  
Arthur moved his head and opened his mouth. He was wondering, looking for the right words. He raised his eyes so they met Merlin's sight. In that moment he made up his mind and said as calm as he could: "Because she's not the closest person for me. There's someone much closer…"

"Who?" Merlin asked, though he was almost sure how the answer sounded.

Prince's eyes twinkled. They were the mirror of his soul.

"You."

Merlin didn't lower his eyes. Arthur also didn't do that. They both lasted in that moment. Merlin was absolutely sure that his best friend felt the same. He was also convinced that Arthur knew that he knew. It was so obvious now. But there were still unspoken words. And they both knew that they couldn't be spoken. Arthur had to become king. He had to also get married.

"Sometimes I wonder... would it be better if I've never come to Camelot." Merlin said after long while.

"Don't..."

"It'd be better." Merlin nodded sadly.

"Don't even think this way." Arthur almost begged him.

"So what can I do?" the dark haired boy asked hopelessly.

"I don't know" Arthur told him with a sorrow in his voice.

"I know and you know too, that it can't be. It's never could be," Merlin whispered.

"That's true... I am afraid." The blonde admitted.

"I regret it too." The dark haired man took a breath and added. "I should leave Camelot."

"Don't do that," prince whispered. "Some things are just written. And that's one of them."

"I've never supposed that you believe in things that are written."

"Well..." Arthur said, smiling a bit. "Me too... That had been exactly until the day I met you. When that happened, everything has changed. I have changed."

"Yes." Merlin nodded. "You're not a prat anymore."

"Thank you."

They both smiled, despite everything.

"So..." prince started again. "Are you going to leave Camelot?" He asked seriously.

"I said that it'd be better but I won't do that."

"I'm glad to hear it. I don't want... I don't want you to... to leave me." Arthur blushed. Merlin was his greatest weakness and it made him feel a bit embarrassed.

"For the whole world I'm only your servant. And I have to stay just him."

"It's strange how people change, isn't it?" Arthur started, pretending that he didn't hear his friend's words. "We detested each other and now..."

Young man broke his sentence because he didn't want to use '_unspoken word_'. Even if that word was in the air between them.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"You'd better come back to the castle. And I should come back home as well."

"You're right. But Merlin...?"

"Yes? " young man asked with hidden, hopeless hope.

"You told me, months ago, that you were happy to be my servant till the day you die. Would you say the same now, if instead of word _servant_ was a word _friend_?

"Of course I'd do." The boy promised smiling sadly.

"Even after..."

"Even." Merlin cut it down.

"Thank you."

Then Merlin stood up and went home. He didn't want Arthur to see his tears.

Prince waited a while and did the same.

Only moon and the lake knew what had happened. Only they knew that hearts of prince and his servant beat the same rhythm. That they both felt the same pain and emptiness. But love between males, moreover between prince and servant-sorcerer, was forbidden. Love doesn't choose. It doesn't also know lines and limits. Only human rules can break everything. They can break somebody's happiness. But I still can't understand, why the cruel world didn't want to let two halves be together?


End file.
